Let's All Go Dance

FORWARD: SOCIABILITY WAS AN ONLINE MAGAZINE DEDICATED TO “LIVING GENEROUSLY AND SERVING JOYFULLY.”

AN IDEA BORN DURING THE THROES OF COVID, SOCIABILITY CAME TO LIFE THROUGH MY FRIENDSHIP WITH TONY RUTIGLIANO. WITH TONY AS THE PUBLISHER AND ME AS EXECUTIVE EDITOR, WE LAUNCHED SOCIABILITY AS A DIFFERENT KIND OF ONLINE MAGAZINE. WE RECRUITED FRIENDS, FRIENDS OF FRIENDS, AND STRANGERS WHO BECAME FRIENDS TO WRITE STORIES ABOUT THEIR LIVES AND TO SERVE ON OUR BOARD. EVERYONE WAS A VOLUNTEER. IT WAS A MAGAZINE FULL OF WAYS THAT PEOPLE ARE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER. OUR CONTRIBUTORS AND I SHARED STORIES OF FRESH AIR AND DOGS, LOOKING BACK AND LOOKING AHEAD, LOVING PEOPLE JUST AS THEY ARE (INCLUDING YOURSELF), SHARING ONE’S TALENTS AND ENTHUSIASM WITH OTHERS, DADS SPENDING TIME WITH DAUGHTERS, MOMS SUPPORTING ONE ANOTHER, AND BAKING REALLY GOOD CAKE. FOR ME, THE EXPERIENCE OF WORKING WITH OUR CONTRIBUTORS WAS EXTRAORDINARY.

THE MAGAZINE EXISTED FROM NOVEMBER 2020 - MAY 2022. WE STILL SEE LITTLE GLIMMERS OF ITS IMPACT TODAY, WHICH SAYS TO US THAT SOCIABILITY LIVED A GOOD LIFE. THAT’S ABOUT THE BEST THING YOU CAN SAY ABOUT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WHEN YOU SAY GOOD-BYE.

HERE’S ONE OF MY STORIES, ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR SOCIABILITY AND NOW RETURNED TO ME TO SHARE WITH YOU.

Amy and Brian, National WWII Museum Big Band NYE Dance, 2018 

I don’t remember who suggested the eight of us learn how to ballroom dance, but it was probably either Barb or Laura: Barb, because she genuinely enjoys bringing people together, or Laura, because she genuinely enjoys the awkward hilarity of people trying to do things outside their comfort zones, including herself. 

Regardless of how it happened, four women who met at work and became friends enrolled their husbands and themselves in ballroom dance lessons. The instructor was Virginia, a 4’11” tall octogenarian with the legs of a thirty-year-old and the methodology of a drill sergeant. Virginia was resigned to people like us who were driven more by having fun than by learning to dance.  

We did have fun and we did learn, in spite of ourselves and because of Virginia’s methodical, repetitive teaching style. “Slow, slow, quick, quick,” for example, went from a chant to a mantra to muscle memory. My husband Brian and I can still waltz on command twenty years later. 

Being able to pull off basic waltz, foxtrot and swing steps is what I had hoped to get out of the experience. I learned so much more than that.  

First, I had to master how not to lead, which annoyed my feminist sensibilities a bit until I realized that leading and following is really just a conversation. Once in motion, a couple who comfortably dances together can suggest moves and turns to each other at any point. A strong lead means nothing without a confident, skillful partner.  

Second, to my surprise, I discovered that being bad at ballroom dancing doesn’t matter. With so few places left in the country to cha-cha-cha, dancers of all kinds and skill levels are welcomed with eager, open arms. Everyone who tries is adorable, and anyone who’s pretty good is amazing. It’s a happy place, that dance floor.  

Finally, I learned that ballroom is not just about the two people who are dancing together. Couples pay attention to the positions of other couples and move to complement each other’s physical space. Sometimes everyone forms one sweeping circle. Sometimes couples ebb between and around each other in little patterns. Other times, particularly in swing, practiced dancers with flamboyant routines will temporarily take over the center of the floor while the remaining couples enjoy the show (and take note for next time). When you have great group dynamics on the dance floor, it’s a place of mutual respect. 

Who wouldn’t want to live in that world?  

Hey, they’re playing our song! Let’s all go dance.